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Kids are told to avoid it until they're married, and that's very often the end of the conversation.What if we started speaking as frankly about sex as our secular counterparts do?What if we talked frankly about the mechanics and the pleasure of sex?What if we shared amusing tales of awkward first times?

We were dating for almost exactly a year before we got engaged, and we were engaged for five months before we got married.The sexual tension between my fiancé and I certainly didn't make keeping our lips apart or our hands off each other easy.But we had both decided that we wanted to honor each other and honor our God, and so for us the sacrifice was worth it.Growing up in a Christian home, I was raised to view my virginity as almost as important as my salvation. It would be hard, but if I didn't, I'd regret it for the rest of my life (or so I was told).It was my most precious possession, to be guarded at all costs — and the loss of it before marital bliss was possibly the most shameful thing that could possibly have happened to me. It's difficult to understand if you didn't grow up in the church, but the focus on purity before marriage is pervasive in many Christian circles that I didn't even question it. When I was 15, I signed the pledge to wait to have sex until marriage.

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