Dating a man who is rich
Devoted sex journalist that I am, when I heard that Seeking was hosting its first-ever Sugar Baby Summit, offering an afternoon of seminars for both beginners and masters of the Sugar lifestyle, I eagerly accepted the invitation to attend.
Who would pass up on a day of that followed by an evening of people-watching at an awkward dating mixer? Sugaring, in case you're new to the sweet life, is a type of relationship/lifestyle in which a Sugar Baby (SB) "provides companionship in exchange for being pampered," while a Sugar Daddy (SD) "pampers Sugar Babies in return for companionship." "Pampering" is obviously a broad term, and can include explicitly negotiated financial compensation — like an allowance, tuition payments, or an investment into a Sugar Baby's business venture — or simply gifts, trips, and other treats.
But there's nothing R-rated about frank communication and consent. Unfortunately, in its shortsighted efforts to become a "PG" "dating/relationship" website (as opposed to a place to find sex), Seeking has some pretty murky, sex-negative policies.
Take, for example, the demographics of the Sugar Baby Summit: it was overwhelmingly populated by female SBs seeking male Sugar Daddies.
She pointed out:"You're using what is available to you to get what you want.
Men do the same thing, but they get more opportunity because of their privilege.
And Seeking seemed committed to reinforcing this idea, making clear that there is nothing inherently anti-feminist about becoming a Sugar Baby.But only once you've explicitly discussed your needs, desires, and expectations, and established boundaries and consent.And these vital concepts in power play were completely glossed over at the Sugar Baby Summit in a misguided effort to make the Sugar lifestyle seem "accessible" and "mainstream."For example, representatives from the website constantly obsessed over how the site was kept "PG." It was very clearly their intent to de-stigmatize Sugaring, and bring it into the light as a fun, exciting, sexy way to play, away from the shady taboos that are often associated with it.The CEO, Brandon Wade, even implied that it was easy, if you were a BDSM-oriented Sugar Baby, to search profiles and find Daddies who were too.However, I received contradictory remarks about how kosher disclosing your interest in financial, sexual, or psychological BDSM is on the site.